What do we usually consider love to be? We conventionally "love" based on desire and attachment—unreliable because it is fundamentally about grasping—one of the roots of suffering. This "love" is conditioned on what returns to us. Love with attachment or mixed with expectation, by definition, contains unskillful mind states. At first, the attraction and grasping can feel exciting, which veils the underlying suffering.
Maya Angelou said, “The ache for home lives in all of us—the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” Loving-kindness (metta), Compassion (karuna), Sympathetic Joy (mudita), Equanimity (upekkha). In Pali, the language of the Buddhist scriptures, these four are known as Brahmaviharas—Divine (Brahma) abodes (vihara) or more commonly, high or sublime states of mind/heart—safe home.
The fourth hindrance of restlessness and worry, encountered in meditation and in daily life, is nervous unsettled physical energy, characterized by quickly changing thoughts, anxiety, agitation and worry in the mind, and difficulty sitting still.
Sleepiness, a/k/a sloth and torpor (the phrase admirably describes the state)—is the third of the five hindrances or difficult energies that arise in practice. Training the mind to work with them in meditation is a template for arousing energy for quotidian tasks.
Aversion, the opposite of desire, is the second hindrance encountered in meditation as well as daily life. Anger, fear, boredom and judgment are facets of aversion. Anger is outflowing, expressive, energized; and fear is held in, frozen, imploding—both striking-out against what is happening, wanting to declare it not-to-be-so, separating from it, pushing it away.
The first hindrance is desire for sense pleasure—pleasant sounds, sights, tastes, smells and bodily sensations. Desire in itself is not wrong or a problem—it is the concomitant mentality in which we believe that if we can string together enough pleasant experiences—the right job, relationship, personality, looks, amount of money, etc., we will have a permanently happy life without cease—the “if only...” mentality.
Let us reflect on what is known as the Five Hindrances in the Teachings. These hindrances are common experiences that arise in meditation: desire (attachment), aversion (anger, fear), sleepiness (sloth and torpor), restlessness (agitation) and doubt. Meditation mirrors our actual lives—as they arise in meditation, they also arise in daily life. Their arising is not a problem. It is only a problem when we are overwhelmed, consumed, or define ourselves by them, when we tangle with them rather than working skillfully.
The fifth precept is refraining from alcohol and drugs (authentic medical need excluded) “that cause heedlessness.” I am inspired by this, as the last words of the Buddha are reputed to be “strive on with heedfulness.” This is something upon which we can deeply reflect—the need for sobriety and clarity of mind as requisites for the heedfulness highlighted in the Buddha’s last injunction as he lay dying. How can we practice heedfulness having ingested that which is designed to encourage heedlessness?
The fourth precept is to refrain from false, harmful and reckless speech. Speech is a primary way in which we relate to and communicate with each other. It can enhance connection, or be the agent of disconnection. In expressing our intentions and aspirations, our words, mindfully spoken, can remind us of what we hold most dear.
When we observe the precepts, they have a humane effect on us and everyone affected by us. We align with the understanding of karma, that the most important powers shaping our experience are the thoughts, words, and deeds we choose in the present moment. Every choice of action, in every aspect of life, contributes to making the world.
