In-Person and Online: This Messy, Gorgeous Love – A Weekend Workshop
with devon and nico hase
Friday, May 15th, 2026 | 6:30pm – 8:30pm ET
Saturday, May 16th, 2026 | 10:00am – 4:00pm ET
Sunday, May 17th, 2026 | 10:00am – 4:00pm ET
In-Person Location: New York Insight at 115 West 29th Street, 12th Floor
Partnership might be one of the most challenging spiritual practices there is. We swing between losing ourselves to keep the peace and fighting to be right at any cost.
There’s a middle way.
Join married Buddhist teachers devon + nico hase for an intimate weekend exploring how to bring presence—instead of reactivity—to the beautiful, messy work of conscious partnership. Drawing from their book This Messy, Gorgeous Love and nearly twenty years together (including a three-year meditation retreat), they’ll guide you through the essential skills that transform relationships from battlegrounds into opportunities for awakening.
What We’ll Explore
Deep Listening: Moving beyond trying to fix or change your partner to truly hearing—and being heard. Learn to listen to yourself, your partner, and the wisdom that emerges between you.
Finding Balance: Discovering your personal middle way between self-denial (losing yourself to please others) and self-indulgence (always needing to be right). Different people need different balances—and that’s profound, not problematic.
Skillful Conflict: Why “We shouldn’t be fighting” is a myth that causes more harm than good. Learn to work with your natural conflict style—whether you’re a Volcano, Dodger, or Diplomat—and discover that sometimes real patience means expressing anger.
Cultivating Joy: How awareness of impermanence transforms daily irritations into opportunities for appreciation. Practice mudita (sympathetic joy) and create rituals that nourish connection even during difficult times.
Format: This retreat combines dharma talks, guided meditations, journaling practices, and partner exercises (adaptable for those attending solo). Expect a balance of individual reflection and shared exploration in a supportive community setting.
Perfect for: Couples seeking to deepen their practice together, individuals wanting to bring more consciousness to relationships, and anyone curious about partnership as a path of awakening. No meditation experience required—just willingness to explore with honesty and kindness.
About devon + nico
devon + nico hase are married Buddhist teachers helping couples face—and blossom in—the truth about long-term romance. nico lived in a monastery for six years before earning a PhD in counseling psychology and becoming an Insight Meditation teacher full time. devon has practiced intensively in the Insight and Vajrayana traditions of meditation and teaches at Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and more. They are co-authors of How Not to Be a Hot Mess and This Messy, Gorgeous Love: A Buddhist Guide to Navigating Passion, Purpose, and Everyday Chaos. They live in Madison, Wisconsin.
What People Are Saying
“devon and nico are deeply experienced practitioners, with a strong dedication to their own meditation journey. They have immersed themselves for many years in long intensive practice, and I highly recommend their teaching.” —Joseph Goldstein
“Devon and nico teach with lightness, humility, and vulnerability. They’re down-to-earth and easy to relate to—yet full of wisdom.” —Sarah F., Student
In-Person Registration:
Please register below for in-person participation. If you are able, registering at the “Supporter” level enables others to attend at the “Subsidized” level. Thank you for your generosity! (Please note that the registration price includes a base level of teacher support, and you will have the opportunity to donate more after the program.)
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Online Registration:
Please register below for online participation via Zoom. If you are registering via a mobile device such as a phone or tablet, you can scroll right and left and up and down within the below form if it is partially obscured or cut off.
CLICK HERE to open the registration form in a new browser window.
Volunteering
All of our programs rely on volunteers to support our teachers and staff with various tasks and responsibilities. Volunteering allows you to participate in our programs at no cost. To inquire about volunteering opportunities, please fill out our inquiry form, and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
Teacher(s)
devon hase
devon hase began intensive meditation training in 2000. After spending a decade teaching English and social studies in high school and college classrooms, she entered a two-year period of retreat. She has studied at monasteries in Nepal and India, and practices in the Insight and Vajrayana traditions. Currently, devon teaches at the Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, and throughout North America and Europe. Along with her life partner nico, she co-authored their first book, How Not to Be a Hot Mess: A Survival Guide for Modern Life, which offers six really good pieces of semi-Buddhist advice to keep you anchored and steady amidst the chaos of modern life. devon loves long retreat and is passionate about creative ways to bring depth practice into the daily spin of things. She now lives together with nico in urban retreat in her hometown of Ashland, Oregon, splitting each week between teaching and practice. For more info visit www.devonandnicohase.com.
nico hase
nico hase lived in a monastery for six years before earning a PhD in counseling psychology and becoming an Insight meditation teacher full-time. He currently mentors mindfulness teachers, teaches online and in-person retreats, and speaks with students in one-on-one sessions. He and his beloved life partner Devon are the authors of How Not to Be a Hot Mess: A Survival Guide for Modern Life. Find out more at devonandnicohase.com.